I am a full-time working, single mother, and my greatest joy is my three year old daughter. I’ve struggled with weight and body image the majority of my adult life. This is my journey, it’s a long one. My hope for whoever reads this is that they can relate and understand that everyone’s story is unique, but where there's a will, there’s a way. 

 

Part One:

 

At 22, I was in an overly comfortable, unhappy, unhealthy relationship. He was older and had two boys. I wanted to play the ‘wife’ role, so I took pride in impressing him with delicious meals. My favorite food to make is ‘comfort food’ like shepherd's pie and pulled pork. My weakness is anything chocolate. I cooked almost everyday, ate whatever I wanted, and used the kids as an excuse to buy all of my favorite junk foods. I never weighed myself. I didn’t care. I had someone who loved me and accepted the way I was living, so I thought. Eventually, he started making comments about my weight, which made me feel really insecure. I remember crying about it. But even though I felt bad about my weight, his comments made me want to sneak all the foods I wanted when he wasn’t around. I’d literally hide my foods and lie about what I ate when he asked (‘Closet Eating’ is a real thing!).

 

In five years I had gained 50 lbs. I had resentment towards him for that. What once made me happy had turned into misery. I felt trapped. I isolated myself from my friends and family. I had a physical that year. I’m 5’2" and I was 173 lbs. ‘Morbidly Obese.‘ I had heard about nutritionists before and asked my doctor if he could refer me to someone. This is when I met Belinda. I didn’t know what to expect, I just knew I wanted help. Her personality is so kind and comforting. It was easy to open up to her and be honest with my feelings, and why I was there. She taught me how to manage my calorie and water intake, and encouraged exercising. I wanted to lose weight as fast as I could, and I knew by incorporating exercise it would come off faster. When I first started running I could barely make it to the end of my street, but by the end, I was jogging four miles everyday. She motivated me. She cheered me on every time I hit a goal, and even when I didn’t. Her approach isn’t aggressive or strict. She has a way of making you feel empowered, like you’re the one who decides how it’s going to happen. She has the ability to modify your plan to fit your needs. I never felt deprived from any of the foods I enjoyed. I felt like she gave me back a piece of myself that had been missing for a long time. I lost a total of 30 lbs in a year, I was 147 lbs. My original goal was 137. I didn't reach my goal, but I felt great. I looked great. I bought a ton of new clothes. I gained enough confidence to leave my boyfriend. And I was finally happy.

 

Part Two:

 

Distracted by my success, I lost sight of the plan. In, what feels like the blink of an eye, I gained 50 lbs back in about nine months. 50 pounds! That’s 20 lbs more than what I had lost. My weight gain wasn’t for comfort this time. I was having the time of my life. I had my friends back. I was dating and partying, and eating and drinking whatever I craved. And then winter came, and I started to feel lonely, so I decided to give my ex- boyfriend another chance.

 

At first it was great, but a couple months later I found out I was pregnant. I was 193 lbs at my first pregnancy appointment. I was so disappointed in myself. I couldn’t comprehend how I had let myself lose complete sight of what I had worked so hard for. I became depressed again and told myself after I had my baby, I’d try again. The day I went into labor I weighed 237 lbs. I didn’t know my body was capable of gaining that much weight! The day I left the hospital I weighed 217 lbs. So, in about a year and a half, I gained close to 70 lbs. For awhile, I accepted it. I had a beautiful daughter, my joy in life. She made me happy and gave me the purpose I was seeking. By her first birthday, her dad and I had separated, and I had lost 20 lbs. I started to entertain the idea of dating, again, so I set up the old dating profiles from when I was 147 lbs. And I met someone whom I clicked with. I told him upfront my pictures were old. He didn't care, he still wanted to meet me. So we met and hit it off. I felt like this guy liked me for who I was, and I appreciated him for that. But, I didn’t like who I was, so I swallowed my pride and contacted Belinda, again.

 

I swore she wouldn’t remember me, but she did! Starting over, we set up a new plan. And, again, I wanted to lose weight as fast as possible. The idea of losing ‘a pound or two’ a week was unappealing to me. I felt like it would take forever. But I also wanted my weight loss to last this time. I didn't exercise as much this time, but with diet and portion control I’ve managed to lose 40 lbs in close to a year, about one pound a week. I haven’t reached my goal yet, but I’m about 150 lbs, and plan to keep going. I weigh myself every couple of days, so I don’t get off track, and I check in with Belinda at least once a month. I attribute a lot of my success to her. I tell her all the time she should add ‘Life Coach’ to her bio because she is amazing at what she does. 

 

You can tell that she cares about her clients and has a genuine interest in their lives. She also has tons of relatable stories, which are enjoyable to hear. I look forward to all of my visits with her and I plan to continue them this time around, even if it’s only once or twice a year. It’s been a journey, and not an easy one. There have been ups and downs, gains and losses. And it’s amazing to have this support system along the way.